Personal Tuesday

When you are reading this, I am already in Istanbul. I have written this post in advance, while sitting in the kitchen looking outside staring at the miserable weather. I hate the sight of the garden when it is raining, it is so depressing. With summer coming to an end, I need to come to terms with the fact that this will be pretty much my view for the next few months. The weather actually suits my mood – I am feeling horrible at the moment and I am looking forward to a short break in Istanbul with lots of sunshine and my family.

Ending a long friendship – Is there really such thing as a best friend?

Sometimes I wonder if there is really such a thing as a best friend, a soulmate – somebody you trust 100% and who trusts you just as much. Whom you can tell everything and who tells you everything. Somebody who is always there for you and somebody you are always there for. Until a short while ago I thought I had that person, my best friend. The person I wouldn’t mind staying up until the early morning hours for so I could listen to her problems, the person who could always tell me everything and I would listen to it, no matter what.

I have not felt well ever since the beginning of the year, I struggled with depression most of my life and have been on off on antidepressants since I am twelve. I needed a lot of support this year and when I thought I could seek advice from my best friend I was let down. I always made excuses for her behaviour, but it came to the point where I couldn’t take her emotional rejection any longer. I forgot that a good friendship is based on mutual support and not just one way. I did everything for that person and I was always let down, leaving me disappointed and unhappy. I cut off contact completely for the moment. If things are right between us, we will work this out and if not, it wasn’t worth trying. I am trying to get into a better state of mind now, trying to forget my worries while on holiday. Hakuna Matata!

Cologne and Frankfurt

On Saturday I travelled to Cologne, where I visited my friends and family before making my way to Frankfurt on Sunday evening. In Frankfurt I stayed at the Roomers again, an amazing hotel I actually reviewed in August and as I am going to Frankfurt all the time at the moment I have made it my hotel of choice there. You can read the review >>here<<. On Monday I flew from Frankfurt to Istanbul and ever since then I am here. I had previously planned to fly from Dusseldorf, but my plans changed and Pegasus Airlines let me change my departure airport for only a little fee. It was only a few pounds more what it would have cost me travelling from Frankfurt to Dusseldorf Airport.

Istanbul

Since yesterday I am in Istanbul and I don’t have access to the internet all the time. I am trying to update you all regularly via Instagram, Twitter and of course this blog when I can. This is my second ‘Personal Tuesday’ and I was surprised by the positive feedback I received. I decided to make it a weekly blog.

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1 Comment

  1. September 9, 2014 / 5:41 pm

    I love this post! I am going through such a similar thing with depression and a difficult friendship like you described. It's not great is it!? I hope you have an AMAZING holiday, you deserve it! x

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