Tomorrow it’s my birthday. I am turning a year older. It’s the one day where everything should be all about me, but tomorrow it won’t be because I don’t want it to. There will be no cake, no candles to blow out and nobody will come to visit. I haven’t invited any friends and it will be just us tomorrow. Just like any other day. I am too sad to celebrate, a smile on my face would be fake and until recently I would have been able to fake a smile everybody wants to see on your birthday, but at the moment I am not strong enough and I don’t want to be.
My depression is keeping me under a water at the moment. Sometimes it lets me catch a breath of air, just to pull me under the water again. I always worry that people think I am an emotional wreck and unable to function. I do because I have to, but I wish there would be somebody I could talk to. I am glad to be able to write a little bit about on my blog and that I am able to connect with others through Twitter. It helps a lot and I am grateful for it.
Just a few words on a Friday night. Time to switch the lights off, watch a bit of Netflix and maybe tweet a little bit on the iPhone. Good night!