Personal Tuesday

I know, I know. I missed my Personal Tuesday for the last two weeks. I haven’t had much to write about apart from my unhappiness in Germany, being stuck in limbo and not knowing what is coming next. I had lots of good news last week and I am so glad everything seems a bit more promising now. I feel a lot happier already. I got to the point where I actually stopped believing in myself. Every job application came back with the feedback that I am too young or I was rejected because I am not a native speaker.

This week will be a rather exciting week for me though. Today I am flying to Qatar for a second interview and on Friday to Milan. I am more optimistic now and I have every reason to be. It’s about time that I get my life in order again, I have gained 20lbs since December (Yes, not kidding!) and I need to start working out again. My diet is horrible and my weight isn’t the only issue because of it. My skin got worse and I actually got some eczema on my arms.

Staying with my family is not easy. They are lovely and they support me, but they are so incredible narrow minded and ignorant in many things. I have different views on many things, I don’t expect others to have the same but my family does. When I disagree and try to get my point of view across I am arrogant and feel superior. I don’t want to argue with them, it is my family after all but no, I just can’t stay in Germany, especially not in Cologne. When I had two potential jobs here, I thought, yes, maybe it’s a good idea to be close to friends and family, however, I am really glad now I am trying to find work outside Germany, preferably outside Europe. Being too close to my family is just not good for me, after all there is a reason why I moved to London many many years ago.

My family can not understand the nature of my job, after all I am not formally qualified yet my wages are much higher than people who work in the public sector in Germany, lawyers and even most doctors. Those professions are just an example. I have to explain on a daily basis, why I am earning that kind of money, that my job is a career job and that I don’t need an apprenticeship or Ausbildung as we call it in Germany.

I am planning to work and live in Doha, should I get the job there. Chances are 50/50, but I keep my hope down. I don’t want to be disappointed again.  My grandmother had never heard of Doha or Qatar until I told her about it YET she insists that every woman has to be covered up there including her face. I tell her otherwise, but no I am wrong and she is right. You know, my grandmother knows everything about Qatar. EVERYTHING! I guess my friend Moni who lived in Doha for two years must have lived in a different Doha then or she lied to me. What can I say.

Then we argued last week about butter and margarine. What should you eat? What makes you fat? What is better for your heart? I eat butter. Butter is good for me, yet my grandmother believes that butter makes me fat and eating margarine is good for me. So I send her a link to a website in German from a health organisation that writes about why exactly society was made to believe that butter is bad for us and we were told to consume margarine. My grandmother replies I am presumptuous and that the best thing is to not eat butter AND margarine. Oh well, you can’t really win, can you? Maybe it’s best just to give up on it and only discuss those kind of matters with like minded people. I could go on with things my grandmother insists are right, because that’s how she learnt it but I would bore you.

I am heading to the airport at 6am, so I am staying up tonight so that I can sleep on the plane. I am flying with Qatar Airways from Frankfurt to Doha. So, I will probably tweet and Instagram while I am there. Wish me luck!


  1. March 8, 2015 / 5:18 pm

    We've spoken about this so many times before but I completely know where you're coming from. My family are very similar; when I told my dad I was going to share a house with someone who works in hockey, he told me I would be turned into a lesbian! :/
    Hang in there – we need rainy days so we can appreciate the sunny ones.

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